Just Love Me Once
by VenusPrincess
Summary: Harry's thoughts about a certain someone. Harry/Draco SLASH! Read and Review please.


Warning: SLASH! Homophobes better leave now. And if I make a few spelling errors then I'm truely sorry. Not really, since I couldnt help it. No spell check. And please read all the way through, dont judge by the begining.  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing.  
  
Review if you please, and flames will only keep me warm :)   
  
Oh,and this is Harry Potter thinking...  
  
Just Love Me Once  
  
Everyone knows me...well, more like everyone knows my name. The famous Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived. That's a laugh. More like The Boy Who Had No Clue What To Do. When I first met Voldermort, all I did was sit in a crib. He tried to kill me, and for some unknown reason, I survived. That's all. And then the second time..let's just say that I was stupid. It was by pure luck that I survived. And you can't forget when I met Tom Riddle. I dont believe that was by luck. I think I just wanted to prove to myself that I wasn't just some scrawny little kid who only survived because of his mum. (Oh and by the way, If you're listening, thank you. ) I wanted everyone to know that I was put in Gryffindor for a reason, I nearly died then too. Oh, and then theres the most recent time that I've met Voldermort. I have to say that this was the worse time though, you would have thought by now that I'd be use to it. Ha, that's even more of a laugh. You can never get use to somebody trying to kill you. You're probably thinking, " Yeah right! You're the famous Harry Potter! The most skilled wizard in his year! " Well, your wrong. Very, Very wrong. There are better wizards then me, Hermione for one. She's the smartest girl in the school. But she would never admit to it. Without her I would never have found the Sorcerer's Stone or where the Chamber of Secrets was, or even that Professor Lupin was a warewolf. She's the person who made me suceed in all these 'Deads of Honer'. I over heard Mrs. Weasley saying that to Mr. Weasley one time. Speaking of the Weasleys' there's Ron. My best friend, he's always been there for me. So loyal and trusting. Without him, I'd still be friendless and cluless about the wizarding world. He's helped me so much, there's no way I would have lived without him.  
  
Listen to me rambling on and on about the one thing that's not on my mind. Sure I have friends, but there is one thing I dont have, Love. I'm not talking about the family Love the Weasleys' give me. I mean the kind of love my parents had. You know when you get that funny feeling in you're stomache and the sweaty plams, the blushing, those dopey smiles that you can't stop from showing. I've never had that, atleast not with any of my girlfriends. Sure, I thought I liked Cho. But that was just a silly crush, and after a few weeks we thought it would be better if we broke up. Then of course there was that akward relationship between me and Ginny. Everyone got a laugh out of that one. It started out well though. But after a few months, she wanted more...and I well, I didn't. Were still friends though..I think. But She's now dating Neville, Now *that* was a surprize. Their actully quite happy. Do I sound jealous? Because I am. Not that I want to be going back out with Ginny, mind you, (though she was a good kisser), I just wish I had someone like that. You know...to love. It's so much harder then it seems. Its like one of those muggle soap opera's that Petunia use to watch. You know, with the girl liking that Irish guy, and the Irish guy dating the girl's brother..Well, not *exactly* like that. I'm not Irish. But you get the point.   
  
Unrequited love, I think thats whats it's called. That's what Ron thinks he has. But, Hermione likes him back. He just doesn't know yet. Look, I'm getting off subject again. I seem to do that alot. It can't really be helped. I mean, when you're heart is about to admit something that you're mind thinks is really and totally wrong, it just tries to avoid saying it. But deep down, you know the truth. I guess that's how I'm feeling. I just dont know the truth yet. Okay so I do. And it keeps getting harder and harder to hide. I know someone's going to find out. I guess I'm just waiting till that happens. Should be fun to watch though, you know, when everyone figures out my little secret. Good thing Rita Skeeter isn't on the loose anymore. She would simply *love* this. I mean, front page, bold headline on every magizine in the world. I can see it now :   
THE BOY WHO LIVED,OR IS IT,THE BOY WHO LOVED BOYS  
  
Yes, I'm gay. Or maybe I'm bi? I dont really know. Is there a bi-curious genre? 'Cause that would be me. Now you know why it's so hard for me to find love. Well actully, Its not hard for me to love, It's hard for me to be loved in return. You see, I only love one person. And what's even more funnier is that he's the one boy that I should never ever love and will never ever be loved from in return. No, not Voldermort! He's far to ugly. And talk about controlling. Or maybe not. But you get the idea.   
  
I like to sigh, I've been doing that a lot lately. Especially since my new found revalation. Ah, there I go sighing again. I think people are starting to worry. Or atleast starting to notice. You see, everyone watches me when I'm in danger or something of the sort. But nobody really pays attention to me on an everyday normal bases. Well except for maybe Ron and Hermione. But their to busy making googly eyes at each other. And they think I dont notice. I'm pratically the main person trying to get them together. I know that if they do, things will change. It most likely wont be the three of us again, it will be Ron Hermione and Harry, the third wheel. Ron insists that wont happen, but you never can tell. I just want them to be happy. Let them be in love, even if I cant.   
  
God, he's so beautiful. I sigh again. I would give anything if he would just *once* look at me with something other then a sneer. I would give anything to kiss him, to touch him. I want to hold him in my arms, I want to watch him as he sleeps, I want to push stray lighter than blonde locks from his eyes...I want...I want to damn much. I've never felt this much pain before in my life. Not even when I was under The Cruciatus Curse. I feel like my heart is dying, like its shattered into a million pieces...leaving my soul to bleed. I need him, more then anyone I've ever met before. I know, that if I could just *once* tell him that I love him, then I could die happy.  
  
I wish I could just ignore this feeling, hoping that it would go away. But I've tried. It never works. My love for him just grows stronger each and every day. That sounds so sappy. You see what he's doing to me?! He's driving me insane! I wonder what it would feel like to touch his soft skin..to look into his beautiful eyes..to have him love me...STOP IT! I cant think like this! It's just torturing me! Go away! GO AWAY! Damn it! Why do you do this to me Draco Malfoy?! Why do I have to love you? Why do you have to be my dreams? My heart's greatest desire? Why are you making me suffer like this?  
  
Because you dont have a clue. You dont have the slightest idea that I'm in love with you. I need you with all of my heart, body and soul. I cant live like this. Love me, Draco Malfoy, love me. I don't care if it's just for a second, just please...just love me once, so I can finally be happy. That's all I ask from you. Love me like the way I've loved you for years now. Just love me once. 


End file.
